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Hooptedoodle

Better than Shoes June 21, 2008

My best friend Gwyn and I hired a babysitter and stole away late tonight. We went to see a great film about four girls in New York looking for love. For me, who spent a good deal of my 20’s watching and wishing I could strut around NYC in Manolo’s and Dior (going to flamboyant careers and fabulous events) like they, it was a closing note on that decade of my life.

It was fun to dress up in my most “designerly” dress and heels, and feel as fabulous as one can amid popcorn strewn floors and sticky arm rests. We shared laughter and tears… ooohed and awwed over which dresses and shoes we would “so” wear.

For the night, I lived glam vicariously…

and I got to thinking. I spent a lot of time wishing that I could experience the trappings of those character’s lives, when those characters were focused on finding what I have in REAL life… deep, meaningful love… unconditional acceptance… abiding joy… happiness and laughter ever day… a great, wonderful man… children who love you just as you are…time tested friendships….  relationship with an amazing, forgiving God. 

As I was driving home… and moonlight illuminated the car interior… it’s blue light cast over the peaceful faces of my children sleeping in the backseat. Through the rearview mirror I saw my jewels, more valuable than anything. I realized my dreams were still there, they had just expanded, mellowed and rearranged themselves in even more beautiful and organic ways.  Gone the desperation and need to put myself out there… gone the need to prove my worth to gain love… gone the frantic searching and unfulfillment…

I still have ambitions, dreams and desires…but the stuff that really matters…the stuff that really seeps in and glues up the cracks….

I have in spades.

I have love…I have acceptance… I have friendship… laughter, hugs and kisses…I have happiness and joy everyday in my life…

From the little corner of the world I live in… I realize that I am blessed. I am not searching anymore… I have come home… I am home.

(now, if someone offered me Manolo’s I wouldn’t turn them down:)

See you on the flip side…Amie

 

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8 Responses to “Better than Shoes”

  1. Daniel Says:

    Sweet post. Enjoyed the honesty of it. Keep smiling about what’s important. http://www.bentpage.wordpress.com.

  2. catchthevision Says:

    And isn’t it great that, as well as sharing this with others, your blogging will probably help cement this experience in your mind?

    People can always steal your shoes, but these experiences cannit be stolen – they will stay with you for ever!

    Great posting!
    Url: http://catchthevision.wordpress.com

  3. Caroline Says:

    You have infinitely more than the four girls in the film you went to see.

  4. Shari Says:

    Blessed, indeed. 🙂 Thanks for sharing this.

  5. Kym Says:

    I’ve always been a country girl with no desire for fancy shoes but your post choked me up. Well said!

  6. Jessica Says:

    How true is that!? The pursuit of happiness in a martini glass–when you have it in real life! Wonderfully put!

  7. Heidi Says:

    Although I am woman that hangs out in flipflops and clogs, I find so much realness in this post. It really moved me when you said:

    “I still have ambitions, dreams and desires…but the stuff that really matters…the stuff that really seeps in and glues up the cracks….

    I have in spades.

    I have love…I have acceptance… I have friendship… laughter, hugs and kisses…I have happiness and joy everyday in my life…

    So true… so true..

  8. Amie: Your thoughts remind me of the song by Kutless and these words in the chorus:

    “He’s a million dollar man
    He’s got everything he wanted
    But now what he wants is what he had
    But he threw it all away
    For a life filled with cars and rings
    And everything that money can bring”

    How spectacularly wonderful it is NOT to be in this man’s expensive, lonely shoes, eh? Give me joy, laughter, love, and grace any day. And if providence happens to throw in a pair of Jimmy Choos, on top, well, it was already matchlessly good to begin with.


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