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Hooptedoodle

Better than Shoes June 21, 2008

My best friend Gwyn and I hired a babysitter and stole away late tonight. We went to see a great film about four girls in New York looking for love. For me, who spent a good deal of my 20’s watching and wishing I could strut around NYC in Manolo’s and Dior (going to flamboyant careers and fabulous events) like they, it was a closing note on that decade of my life.

It was fun to dress up in my most “designerly” dress and heels, and feel as fabulous as one can amid popcorn strewn floors and sticky arm rests. We shared laughter and tears… ooohed and awwed over which dresses and shoes we would “so” wear.

For the night, I lived glam vicariously…

and I got to thinking. I spent a lot of time wishing that I could experience the trappings of those character’s lives, when those characters were focused on finding what I have in REAL life… deep, meaningful love… unconditional acceptance… abiding joy… happiness and laughter ever day… a great, wonderful man… children who love you just as you are…time tested friendships….  relationship with an amazing, forgiving God. 

As I was driving home… and moonlight illuminated the car interior… it’s blue light cast over the peaceful faces of my children sleeping in the backseat. Through the rearview mirror I saw my jewels, more valuable than anything. I realized my dreams were still there, they had just expanded, mellowed and rearranged themselves in even more beautiful and organic ways.  Gone the desperation and need to put myself out there… gone the need to prove my worth to gain love… gone the frantic searching and unfulfillment…

I still have ambitions, dreams and desires…but the stuff that really matters…the stuff that really seeps in and glues up the cracks….

I have in spades.

I have love…I have acceptance… I have friendship… laughter, hugs and kisses…I have happiness and joy everyday in my life…

From the little corner of the world I live in… I realize that I am blessed. I am not searching anymore… I have come home… I am home.

(now, if someone offered me Manolo’s I wouldn’t turn them down:)

See you on the flip side…Amie

 

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A Marriage Turns Nine April 14, 2008

The Second Wedding

Nine years has flown by. I joke that we are still newlyweds – If you take out the four years worth of deployments we have weathered.

Michael holds the distinct honor of being the only man in his family to have been married twice…to the same women…within three weeks of each other. I had been planning what we dubbed “the big wedding” for about four months when the Commanding Officer (CO) of Michael’s squadron told us they were depolying to Kosovo…at the end of the week…and it was Wednesday.

We are a part of the F-18 jet community, my husband is like “goose” on Top Gun (His opening line at Pat Obrien’s in New Orleans where we met…a whole other story). That community is pretty accepting of fiancee as a status, but to the Marine Corps… unless you are married… you are persona non grata. If he had died or was injured, you would get no notification, benefits…anything.

Which takes us to the “Oh my word… we better get married quick..your going to Kosovo wedding”

Which makes me a war bride… I get a kick out of that.

I, like most girls, dream of their wedding…and this was not it. We were only three weeks away from “Martha Stewart Perfection”, and I wasn’t about to blow it on a judge. We got word Wednesday morning that they were ramping up for a Friday departure. I whirled into action, by noon I had our pastor and photographer set for five, the jeweler racing from Hilton Head with the rings, the florist putting together a quick bouquet and boutonniere, a hair appointment and a decorating force (the squadron wives) ready to transform the tower where Mike proposed to me. The hardest sell was dry cleaning. In Seattle, where I am from, you can have your clothes in an hour… it’ll cost you….but you can get them. In South Carolina, they have 7 day martinizing. So trying to convince them to clean Mike’s suit in less then 7 hours was a miracle almost of Genesis proportion. I arranged the restaurant down the street for a little reception, got a cake, brought my boom box with the sampler wedding music CD, and we were set.

The only challenge…Michael had no idea. And the groom was up in a really fast jet, only God knows where, with no way of telling him he was getting married at five. The Corporals and Sergeants were on the lookout for him the minute he landed….which was about 4:15. In which they informed him to get home, put the suit on and show up for his wedding. Fortunatly he is a man of action and takes orders well 🙂

It was a great wedding. The photograph still hangs over our fireplace. We were surrounded by surrogate family, and even managed a first dance and cake smash. We decided not to tell anyone except our heartbroken parents, thinking perhaps we would still be able to pull of the “Big One” later. The next morning we went to turn in paperwork, and got the news…

…the squadron is NOT going anymore…

shock… what do you do now?

…which leads us to the second marriage of my husband. We made it to our wedding day, May 8th. It was everything a Southern Girl at heart could ask for… Big and Glorious.

He did deploy to Kosovo, two weeks later.

And yes, I make him celebrate both dates.

I thought it would mean double the gifts, but he got wise to me. On our first anniversary he gave me diamond earrings. On April 14, 2000 I opened the beautifully wrapped box, and saw one blinking at me. The card read, you get the other on May 8th. Outsmarted again 🙂

I have been blessed. My husband is the most considerate, kind, loving and supportive husband anyone could ask for (and he looks crazy sexy in those flight suits). I know there is a God and that He loves me every time I look into Michael’s face. God blesses us, even if we feel unworthy of it sometimes. You are irreplaceable honey, and truly I am at a loss to imagine my life without you… we are epic.

There is a famous movie line that says “You complete me.” It is WRONG. Part of the reason our marriage works is that we came into it two complete individuals, and we enhance each other. I am the delightful color that livens Michael’s black and white life, and he grounds me. Together we have grown, and God willing, will continue for many decades to come. Nine years feels like we are still just beginning our journey together. I can truly say that I love him more today, nine years later, than I did on that South Carolina tower…

Honey, here is one to add to the soundtrack of our lives. After nine years, this is what marriage means to me…

Across a crowded room
I know you know what I’m thinking
By the way I look at you
And when we’re lying in the quiet
And no words have to be said
I think to myself, I think to myself
This love is a beautiful gift
I have been blessed
And I feel like I’ve found my way
I thank God for all I’ve been given
At the end of every day
I have been blessed
With so much more than I deserve
To be here with the ones that love me
To love them so much it hurts
I have been blessed. from Blessed by Martina McBride

Blessed by Martina McBride

Michael, I love you.

 

 

 

 

 
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